okay, small victory: i bought a scale. here's the thing about scales: when you're obese like me (damn, it's weird to say that out loud), it's hard to find a scale that is calibrated for extreme weights. i used to use my doctor visits (yeah, all 3 of them per year) as an excuse to use the scale at the doc's office. it was the only way i knew how to get a semi-accurate weight reading.
well, i bought my own fatgirl scale online (more on that in another post; great site though). yet another site i found for obese people.
i went to the post office today and picked up my package. damn near ran over a squirrel trying to get back to my place so i could test it out. wow. a scale. at home.
i weighed myself. i didn't like what i saw, but i wasn't surprised. i was prepared. but i'll be doggone if i didn't feel empowered by it. dead serious. knowledge truly is power. it truly is. so just having a tool in my house with which i can objectively measure my progress - or lack of the same, if i slack off - is empowering. before, i'd have to rely on the eyeball method. 'i think i lost weight; these pants do feel a wee bit looser...' but now, NOW i have a machine that'll tell me, straight up. awesome.
the goal is to lose 7 or 8 by next friday. let's GO.
Friday, January 16, 2009
A Little At A Time
Splenda... my heart hurts as i read what you wrote. why? because i know you. because i know you've been hurting for a minute, and haven't been ready to deal with it. and i knew that the moment i talked to you over the Christmas break. and the moment i realized you were staying incognito. i get it. i've been there many, many times. so i get it.
you asked how you move, when it hurts?
a little at a time.
if all you can do is two-step, with DJ, do that. two-step for 15 minutes until you can do it for 30. then take a walk for 5 minutes till you can do it for 15. and so forth.
and call me. or DD. or anyone. but don't, please, don't lock yourself away into your own world. that's all i ask.
i love you, sis, and we ARE gonna do this. fuck a competition; we're gonna do this.
you asked how you move, when it hurts?
a little at a time.
if all you can do is two-step, with DJ, do that. two-step for 15 minutes until you can do it for 30. then take a walk for 5 minutes till you can do it for 15. and so forth.
and call me. or DD. or anyone. but don't, please, don't lock yourself away into your own world. that's all i ask.
i love you, sis, and we ARE gonna do this. fuck a competition; we're gonna do this.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Too fat...
I'm too fat to get it crack'en Sugar... I am so unmotivated to do any thing, dance, jump a jack, sit up, or run in place. Hell, i don't even want to cook! I have fallen off the waggon... or maybe the horse "bucked" my fat ass off his back. my body is in pain from the wight. how can I become "active" for my health when it hurts to move?
-Splends Sweet
-Splends Sweet
Saturday, January 10, 2009
GUESS WHO'S BACK
Yes, yes, it's 2009. Happy new year, and what not.
so i've been considering the option to have surgery again. i think if i hadn't already had surgery a few years ago to remove that cyst, i'd be less freaked out about the option. but the very thought of laying on that table, being opened up, and the recovery process... i can't take it.
God knows i like the thought of forcing my stomach NOT to be so hungry all the friggin time... but i still can't bring myself to do the surgery. i haven't ruled it out completely mind you. but i haven't decided on it yet.
i have also come to understand that i have... what's it called? body dysmorphia? basically i see myself differently in my mind's eye than how the rest of the world sees me. and not in a good way. ie, i'm actually much bigger than my mind pictures. don't get me wrong, i do realize i'm fuggin fat. i do realize i'm huge. no doubt about that. but i think i've been big for so long that my brain just ... stopped trying to keep up. also, my boobs are huge; so i don't see my tummy, whereas the rest of the world does. it's frustrating, actually, not being able to see around myself. i thank God for my boobs (thank You!!), but there is no doubt in my mind that they need to reduce in size, along with the rest of me. i literally cannot see beyond them when i look down. so i find myself having to feel around for stuff in the car... or not quite able to see a seat as i back into it, or not quite sure of where my body starts and the next object -- or person -- begins. not a good look.
alright, so it's 2009. that, in and of itself doesn't make a difference in terms of this weightloss goal. simple fact is, i gotta keep going until the goal is actualized. plain and simple. forget about the bet... we have pretty much suspended that indefinitely.
so what's the best way? journal? okay, i can do that. fad diets? been there, done that, not wasting my time or MONEY that way again.
the solution is simple: eat sensibly, MOVE MY BODY OFTEN AND RIGOROUSLY. *the end*
so let's get crackin. tomorrow, i promise to hit the gym for at least 30 minutes.
will keep you posted.
SPLENDA.... let's go!
Yes, yes, it's 2009. Happy new year, and what not.
so i've been considering the option to have surgery again. i think if i hadn't already had surgery a few years ago to remove that cyst, i'd be less freaked out about the option. but the very thought of laying on that table, being opened up, and the recovery process... i can't take it.
God knows i like the thought of forcing my stomach NOT to be so hungry all the friggin time... but i still can't bring myself to do the surgery. i haven't ruled it out completely mind you. but i haven't decided on it yet.
i have also come to understand that i have... what's it called? body dysmorphia? basically i see myself differently in my mind's eye than how the rest of the world sees me. and not in a good way. ie, i'm actually much bigger than my mind pictures. don't get me wrong, i do realize i'm fuggin fat. i do realize i'm huge. no doubt about that. but i think i've been big for so long that my brain just ... stopped trying to keep up. also, my boobs are huge; so i don't see my tummy, whereas the rest of the world does. it's frustrating, actually, not being able to see around myself. i thank God for my boobs (thank You!!), but there is no doubt in my mind that they need to reduce in size, along with the rest of me. i literally cannot see beyond them when i look down. so i find myself having to feel around for stuff in the car... or not quite able to see a seat as i back into it, or not quite sure of where my body starts and the next object -- or person -- begins. not a good look.
alright, so it's 2009. that, in and of itself doesn't make a difference in terms of this weightloss goal. simple fact is, i gotta keep going until the goal is actualized. plain and simple. forget about the bet... we have pretty much suspended that indefinitely.
so what's the best way? journal? okay, i can do that. fad diets? been there, done that, not wasting my time or MONEY that way again.
the solution is simple: eat sensibly, MOVE MY BODY OFTEN AND RIGOROUSLY. *the end*
so let's get crackin. tomorrow, i promise to hit the gym for at least 30 minutes.
will keep you posted.
SPLENDA.... let's go!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Party Weekend-w/ Food
This weekend I went to a cookout. I ate one grilled burger with Swiss cheese, lettuce and spicy mustard on a white bun (wheat was not an option). I complemented that burger with a hand or so full of green and red grapes, and a lovely feta cheese, black olive, green pepper, and some other shit couldn't identify, pine pasta salad. It was delicious! I sipped on Fresca and a glass of red wine. For desert, I ate a home made blueberry muffin. Oh yes, I also had a chicken (all white meat) & zucchini kabob, marinated in oriental sesame. I thought I did good.
Later that night I went out dancing. I danced for 2 hours straight!... without stopping! I was sweating like a suckling pig, but I was burning calories! My feet hurt like hell, but I was burning calories! I was 1 of 4 people of color in whole damn club, but i was burning calories!
All and all, I did great Saturday, so I thought... One glass of white wine, party over.
My energy was up and i didn't want the "party" to end. I drive home. But instead of going home, I go to a friend's house at 2:30 a.m. He was up winding down from his own "party". So what does that mean? The Munchies! He cooked, no I mean he fried a mean ass gigantic cheese burger on white butter fried toast and a side of macaroni and cheese! With Grape Cool-Aid!!! I ate it! I drunk it! I ate it all (not really, only 3/4 of the burger, but it was a huge burger) not only did I eat the plate he made me, I added a serving of that delicious pasta salad from the cookout that I had brought home with me. It was good.
In essence, I flub up that "since able eating" I had done at the cook out. If you say "no, it's ok, it was only one night", I'm here to tell you I really screwed up... That Sunday I was a a bum all day due to the "partying" till 7 a.m. I sleep all day. Woke up to eat then went back to bed. What did I eat? 5 beef taquitos, 4 chicken & cheese taquitos, and a massive plate of potato salad.
I'm a little ashamed.
-Splenda Sweet
Later that night I went out dancing. I danced for 2 hours straight!... without stopping! I was sweating like a suckling pig, but I was burning calories! My feet hurt like hell, but I was burning calories! I was 1 of 4 people of color in whole damn club, but i was burning calories!
All and all, I did great Saturday, so I thought... One glass of white wine, party over.
My energy was up and i didn't want the "party" to end. I drive home. But instead of going home, I go to a friend's house at 2:30 a.m. He was up winding down from his own "party". So what does that mean? The Munchies! He cooked, no I mean he fried a mean ass gigantic cheese burger on white butter fried toast and a side of macaroni and cheese! With Grape Cool-Aid!!! I ate it! I drunk it! I ate it all (not really, only 3/4 of the burger, but it was a huge burger) not only did I eat the plate he made me, I added a serving of that delicious pasta salad from the cookout that I had brought home with me. It was good.
In essence, I flub up that "since able eating" I had done at the cook out. If you say "no, it's ok, it was only one night", I'm here to tell you I really screwed up... That Sunday I was a a bum all day due to the "partying" till 7 a.m. I sleep all day. Woke up to eat then went back to bed. What did I eat? 5 beef taquitos, 4 chicken & cheese taquitos, and a massive plate of potato salad.
I'm a little ashamed.
-Splenda Sweet
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Getting Started
OK, I have never "blog" a day in my life. And let me tell you, getting started is the hardest part! So like Sugar Brown said we are in this wight loss bet together. We are two very sexy ladies who where once super sexy. We want to be "super" again.
With that said, who can give me any ideas to kick my friend's a$$ in this challenge? I'm 5 feet 1 inch tall and over 250lbs. I'm not rich, so I need the poor persons workout plan and diet. Diet!... I have never, ever been on a diet! - I think I'm going to die. I love potatoes, rice, and bread... carbs. Yes, I'm going to die.
I have no problem eating "healthy", but eating healthy is expensive and time consuming. Money & time, two things I don't have in abundance. I'm not going to say that I don't know what to do to loose wight- I just don't know how to do it. I had a membership st a local gym for three years but never used it. I no longer have that membership due to MONEY!!!! Have i said I'm going to die yet? Once again ask for your help and ideas.
With that said, who can give me any ideas to kick my friend's a$$ in this challenge? I'm 5 feet 1 inch tall and over 250lbs. I'm not rich, so I need the poor persons workout plan and diet. Diet!... I have never, ever been on a diet! - I think I'm going to die. I love potatoes, rice, and bread... carbs. Yes, I'm going to die.
I have no problem eating "healthy", but eating healthy is expensive and time consuming. Money & time, two things I don't have in abundance. I'm not going to say that I don't know what to do to loose wight- I just don't know how to do it. I had a membership st a local gym for three years but never used it. I no longer have that membership due to MONEY!!!! Have i said I'm going to die yet? Once again ask for your help and ideas.
-Splenda Sweet
Saturday, July 19, 2008
First Post
this is not a blog about hiphop. the "Wu Tang" reference is a personal joke... an inside joke between me and a few people. but it captures what this is about.
regaining my life. starting over.
WEIGHT LOSS.
the saga continues.
so here's the setup: my good friend of 12 years now (damn.. 12 fuggin years?!) and i have a wager going. we have 90 days to lose as much weight as possible. the person who loses more weight, in excess of 30lb, wins. the wager is a respectable $300. so each of us puts $300 in the pot.
we are both obese (i moreso than she), so losing 30lb seemed like a realistic goal in 3 months, yes?
we also decided not to include anyone else in the wager. BUT, we both decided to start blogs for our endeavor. so every day... or however often we both agree on (i'll be calling her in a few hours), we blog about our day, what we ate... it's kinda like a bloggersation: a conversation between two blogs.
so there ya have it. this should be fun. or at least, mildly lucrative. because oh yes, i WILL be kickin that ass in the next 90 days.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)